The emotional rollercoaster

So, this being my first post since Olivia has made her way into the world, I will try to keep it to the main points. My induction for Olivia went off without a hitch. Many of the things I dreaded and worried about being a L&D nurse, never came to light and she tolerated labor way better than I ever expected. I think to an extent, the doctor's were a little surprised too. Everything was fine until the morning I was supposed to be discharged. Unexpectedly, I was overcome with pain and urgently taken to the operating room to fix the problem and remove some adhesions. I know Brett went into way more details, so I will spare you from that again. I spent two more nights in the hospital while I slowly tolerated food. I was finally discharged and very excited to spend time with Nathan and Delilah and enjoy those lovely tempurpedic matresses which are not nice on a recovering belly.

Since,I have been discharged, my time has been spent mainly sitting at Olivia's bedside and being shuttled back and forth from the ronald mcdonald house. It is extremely hard to leave one of the most important things in the world in someone else's capable hands and fully trust that they too have her best interest at heart. The excruciating thing is that she looks and smells and even sounds like a 100% normal baby. If it weren't for her insides, many would be fooled. She resembles Nathan and Delilah so very much and every time I hold her it reminds me of how fast time flies by. The kids are totally in love with her and light up every time we mention her name. The big moment yesterday was they both got to give her a bottle. We have been very blessed that her surgery was scheduled as it has been because so many of these babies are rushed into surgery and no one really gets bonding time. Yet, the bonding time is what makes leaving her every evening so much harder.

I thought the whole time we were at home holding the fundraiser and making arrangements that I was also mentally preparing myself for what it would be like to be here today. Man was I wrong. I, to some, may seem like an emotional wreck. I cry sometimes at just the thought of her suffering. I know it is not in my hands, and God has her surrounded by his lovely angels. I also know that without all of his grace and mercy she would not be here today. She is a beautiful gift that has allowed our family to grow in so many ways.

The hardest part of today was signing the surgical consents. To hear exactly how they will "fillet" this and "open" that, I could have done without. Even being medical, when it comes to someone you love emotions take over. Lastly, we had Olivia baptized. Which again, I warn you I cried throughout. A baptism is such a special moment for a family and a child and I felt as if it was being overshadowed by the thought of tomorrow. We will do our best to keep everyone updated tomorrow while we anxiously wait and hope for the best case scenario. Your thoughts, prayers and loving support can not ever be repaid and we know Olivia has a job to do. Until tomorrow....


Olivia's Baptism at CHOP


Nathan and Delilah feeding Olivia

Smile for the camera. Brett said he missed an even bigger smile by a second. This is our littlest princess.
I got a picture of Grandpa holding Nathan with this exact smile. I need to find it. We can see how old Grandpa has gotten, ha ha ha.

You can really see her ruptured blood vessel she got from delivery in this picture