Grateful is one word. It's meaning is simple and as a word can be overused at all the wrong times. Today, as Olivia screams adios amigos down the driveway, it is the only word that comes to mind. Throughout Olivia's life, there have been times when I have been anything but grateful. I would wish people would stop asking how she was, wish that she was "normal" just like everyone else, and just plain be angry that she had no say in the matter but would have to suffer to live. Grateful was a joke to me.
Olivia has shown me that grateful is the only way to push past the hard parts and enjoy the good ones. We are the very fortunate. Olivia, while running into some minor speed bumps with surgeries and recovery, did only that. We are not waiting on a heart transplant, we are not in the hospital, and for that we are grateful. Life's pace is always so hectic. There are very few times that as a mom and nurse, I get to stop and enjoy the moments. I have realized that those moments are more important than anything else we can do. Whether it is sitting in our weekly cardiologist appointments or running to football for Nathan, I will be more grateful for those moments.
Grateful may be only one word but its meaning is endless.
Update on olivia's health:
We saw the cardiologist yesterday. After increasing her diuretics, her chest x ray is finally clearing up. Her potassium is still on the low side, but not horrid. We will see the cardio next monday again and then maybe start spacing out our visits. Olivia hasnt fully gained her weight back but she isnt losing weight. We may see a dietician if her eating doesnt pick up soon.