Saturday, October 29, 2011

The final days

Today is going to be a great day! Brett and the kids are on a plane right now heading up to stay until little miss is delivered. Last night, I decided I should get my act together and pack a hospital bag. In a way, it was bittersweet. I so desperately want to see and meet my sweet girl, yet a huge part of me would rather pretend none of this exists. Every night, I lay in bed and ask myself these two major questions. A.) Am I strong enough to watch my poor baby suffer? B.) Why me?

So for those of you who have been there and done this I know those aren't crazy things to ponder. I also know that for some reason I have been given this blessing and I must cherish it as so. I ask every night for the grace and strength to get my baby home safely. I have to have faith that all of my decisions so far during this process have been made with the most thought and best intentions. We have also been shown by friends, family, and even strangers that Olivia has a purpose and will change the lives of so many people.  My mom once she arrived and came to CHOP with me for appointments just keeps saying, "I know we are in the best place. I can feel it." I too, know that Olivia is a fighter and if anything like her big sister will add even more spice to our life.


  1. You are right...your thoughts are perfectly normal and ones that each of us heart parents think about...probably too much. You are in a great hospital with some of the best surgeons around. It is great that your family will be there with you to love and support you all through the birth and the Norwood.

    Keep up the positive thoughts and I will be thinking about you all weekend.

  2. We felt the same way. We just knew CHOP was where we were supposed to be - for Zoe, for us. Turns out, we were right on!

    We'll be sending lots of love, light, thoughts and prayers from Arizona. And be sure Brett keeps us updated :)

  3. I use to work with your mom (Michele). You guys have been in my thoughts since I read the Facebook post from your mom. Stay strong and know that you are in a lot of people's prayers. The hardest thing about being a mom is letting go and trusting others to take care of your precious baby. Good luck and God Bless!

    Sandi Dufault

    P.S. hi Michele - i miss you!

  4. Hang in there mel!! It will be fine.. Thoughts and prayers are with you guys !
    love ya!


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